Right now I am one lucky gal to be serving as the secretary to our stake's Relief Society Presidency. I absolutely love the President and counselors that I serve with! Not only are they great women but they're caring, considerate... and a whole lotta fun!
Last night we spoke at our bi-annual Stake's Relief Society fireside.
Here's the gist bullet points from my talk on one of the central purposes of the "Relief Society"
As the sisters entered the room they were greeted by the presidency. Each sister was given a bookmark with the Relief Society Declaration Statement and a pen to write down not only impressions but specifically at least one goal/item of action to implement from whatever she felt.
Attendance was the best I've ever seen this stake have for a RS meeting. All in all there were about 260ish sisters there which filled the chapel and overflow. We were so happy about that. It may have been more than double the number that came to the same meeting a year prior to this one. Why the increase in numbers? It may have been sending out a really good looking email to 2000 people through our Stake Institute's email group, or sending a reminder text through the Institute's text messaging system 1 hour before the meeting started. It was also announced in church of course, and fliers were passed out that day as well in Relief Society meetings.
With great attendance, I was especially grateful that the messages were tailored to fit the needs of the sisters in the stake. Sisters learned about the purposes of Relief Society in a way that was very relevant to the specific sisters of our Provo YSA 16th Stake.
Here were the thoughts/counsel I shared. It was not just "stand and deliver" style. We watched a movie, I asked questions, the sisters shared their insights and I shared the following principles and counsel that has helped me... and that I still need to keep myself in check with. :)
For those of you who asked for a copy of "the talk"... Well, these are just my notes. They are not polished up by any means and there are some bullet points that were more reminders to myself to talk about something (like President Wilson's counsel about how to not get burnt out as a RS President) so if you'd like clarification or more elaboration on anything, just let me know. Oh, and anything in smaller text was just something that I considered not using for sake of time. Enjoy!
Provide Relief
Objectives:
My hope in talking with
you tonight is that you will learn through the Spirit
a) A process by which to
identify ways you can “relieve” others’ or proactively be an amazing influence
in the world for good…
b) Better prepared to be
a perpetual provider or a “perennial” provider, someone who provides relief to
a lot of people, for a long time into the future.
While you watch this
movie I would like you to look for 3 things:
1. How did the tree feel or what did the tree
experience when helping and serving the boy.
2. What wonderful and positive things do we learn
through The Giving Tree's example about "Providing Relief" and
service?
3. Is there anything we can learn from the Tree's
Example how it might be best to not serve?
SERVING FACILITATES
HAPPINESS & UNITY
Question # 1
How did the tree feel or what did the tree experience when helping and serving
the boy?
a.
Happy (sense of purpose,
contributing/benefiting, self-worth, value, needed, fulfilled.) Stats on happiness.
b. That’s not why we do it, but man, it’s a great dividend. :)
c. When did the tree become sad, and lonely? Wanted to fulfill
its purpose
FIND A WAY TO SERVE: “Seek
out and help those in need.”
If you’re feeling underutilized,
lack of purpose in life, or if you’re just not sure who or how to help, make 2
lists
·
1. How you can influence for good
o
Things you’re GREAT at: take an
aptitude test, learning styles assessment
o
Gifts you have
o
Compliments you’ve received from
others consistently
·
2. Needs in “spheres” of influence
o
Family
o
Visiting Teachee - A sister in this Church has
no other responsibility outside of her family that has the potential to do as
much good as does visiting teaching.
o
Roommates
o
Those you serve with
o
Coworkers
o
Ward Members
o
Neighbors
o
Community
o
World
o
To all of our family our
siblings of other faiths to the world.
o RS is NOT a society to look
after solely the society but all of our "family."
People in our stake are involved
with schools in Africa, leprosy colonies in India, etc. We do hope that like
all Miss America contestants what you really do want and are seeking towards
are strategies for world peace. At the same time there are area of PRIORITIES I
love that word PRIORities prior to other things. Church counsel self & God,
Fam (love thy neighbor as thyself), then VT, Then Job, then church
responsibilities/neighbors, etc. (spheres of influence)
UNITY IN WARDS
·
10 out of the 11 RS Presidencies in
our stake reported the exact same goals for the next 6 months: UNITY. We’ll help
along the way and check back in March to see how it went and why. Help with
that.
·
As
you find ways to serve and contribute in your callings, and outside of your
callings, you and those you serve with will experience more unity than you have
previously had.
·
Be innovative, proactive and think
outside the box: RS organization’s establishment, Sunday School, so much of
what has built great things up started with inspiration, was accompanied by
initiative and utilized innovation.
·
What would build unity more, another
social with fatty food providing significant service using the unique skills, gifts
and spunk of those in your group?
·
Knowing that the purpose of a ward
congregations are more than social circles…: make covenants in Sacrament, build
faith through classes, worship, Christ-like ministering to needs.
·
How
much of our time is spent towards solely socializing?
·
Facebook will always beat us out
when it comes to social opportunities, but not when it comes to opportunities
to bless lives in meaningful, inspired and significant ways.
SERVING OTHERS IN THE LORD’S WAY
DOES 2 THINGS:
A) ULTIMATELY REJUVENATES US RATHER
THAN DEPLETES US
B) BUILDS SELF RELIANCE IN OTHERS. (tendency
in stake to serve inappropriately
Question #2 What
wonderful and positive things do we learn through The Giving Tree's example
about "Providing Relief" and service?
Question #3 Is
there anything we can learn from the Tree's Example how it might be best to not
serve?
Was the tree able to give to many people or just one? Was the tree
able to give continuously?
GIVE
IN WAYS THAT BUILDS YOU UP RATHER THAN CUTS YOU DOWN:
·
Giving apples ok, cutting down
branches, not okay. Perennial
Flowers: Geraniums, petunias, apples.
·
Ways sisters in our stake are
consistently tempted to cut down their branches are doing too much,
overextending ourselves. We are not as helpful to others when
we’re just a stump. Not able to help many people much longer.
Elder
Maxwell,
“A few years ago, already weary, I
foolishly went late one afternoon to give blessings to three individuals in two
different hospitals who were dying of cancer. Not only was I worn out, but,
worse, the last person really didn’t get much from me. Things had not been done
in “wisdom and order.” I was running faster than my supply of strength and
energy on that occasion. I exceeded my strength. Those blessings would have
been better given over two or three days, and I would have had more empathy and
energy. Somehow, giving unhurried
time is a greater gift even if the minutes or hours are technically the
same as when hurried.”
“Preserve yourselves… in order to serve
more individuals and for longer! People-fatigue can overtake
us all, especially the conscientious, if we are not wise.
Some of the “relief”
that is most needed in our stake right now is Friendship, unrushed convo, familiarity,
unity.
·
Ann
Morrow Lindbergh, "Woman instinctively wants to give... It is not so much giving of
ourselves in pieces that we resent, but giving purposelessly. It is not so much
that our energy may be leaking away through small outlets as that it may be
"going down the drain." We do not see the results of our giving as
concretely as... in work... My
heart cannot implement into action the demands of all the people to whom my
heart responds... Purposeful giving is not as apt to deplete one's resources;
it belongs to that natural order of giving that seems to renew itself even in
the act of depletion. The more one gives, the more one has to give, like milk
in the breast (perennials need to be pruned.).... Even purposeful giving must
have a source that refills it. The milk in the breast must be replenished by
food taken into the body... If it is woman's function to give, she must be
replenished too. But how?
·
President Wilson’s Counsel: When
called as RS President. “One piece of counsel. All presidents struggle with,
run dry. They give and give and give. Do things that keep your well full. Read
a book that has nothing to do with your calling. Get out of town, go do fun
things, etc.”
·
Working
ourselves into the ground, at the judgment day “I am the martyr”
o
Nope,
doesn’t need to be like that, living the gospel does not need make you or your
life a martyr in church service.
o
Uchtdorf’s
story example: life is an all inclusive cruise. HF has provided us w/ so much
to be happy, take a hold of so much of it, pace yourselves, do things that add
purpose, beauty, friendships and happiness to your life and thereby be able to
serve others BEST. You will be able to serve others best when you are at your
best, and when you’re not, go for it anyway. HF makes great things, even out of
dust. J
·
Sisters, “See that all
these things are done in wisdom and order, for it is not requisite that ye
should run faster than ye have strength.”
GIVE
IN WAYS THAT HELPS OTHERS’ BECOME SELF-RELIANT RATHER THAN DEPENDANT ON YOU
·
Yes,
it feels good to be needed and provide relief but ultimately we want people to
become self-reliant
o
Crutch
o
Parents
who pick up everything after their kids
o
RS
sisters who are overextended learn how to Give a man a fish and you feed him
for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
·
Yes,
provide relief, but when it’s possible for a person to develop the ability to
do what you are doing for them, help a person learn to provide for themselves.
Not only does it build self-reliance but also self-worth and self-respect
In the Savior's mortal
ministry, He set the example of seeking out and helping those in need. Relief
Society has within its commission some of the most remarkable service
opportunities on earth, and they are available to all sisters. People will have
trying experiences, and the network of help offered through the Relief Society
can provide strength and support.
·
I hope you will experience the
happiness that comes through serving/contributing in ways that are directly
related with your personal spunk and gifts.
·
I hope your wards will experience
unity that comes through Christ-like ministering to needs of neighbors, significant
service that you can still socialize at. (outreach program)
·
I hope that to be a perpetual
provider or a perennial provider- you will be balanced, find fun and pace
yourselves so that you can have joy in the journey and maximum ministry
throughout your life.
You were
not born to be a stump but a tree that would bring forth much, great fruit!
Beautiful fruit!
How well we take care of ourselves,
our testimonies, our health, our happiness influences how well we take care of
others.
We can only take as good of care of
others as we are taking of ourselves
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